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ARTICLES:
Eurasian Experience
Stares
That I Am Used To By Anita H. Gupta July 2002 Stares I am used to, questions I am beginning to be accustomed to, but snide racist comments are something that I will never be comfortable with. I get smiles from cab drivers who question my parentage and talk about how it is often related to having good looks. They do not believe me when I tell them that not all children of mixed parentage come out looking like models. Singapore is one of the few countries that still require you to fill out a race box. Singapore has a racial definition system called CMIO. C stands for the Chinese who make up about 70% of the population, M stands for the Malays who make up 12%, I stands for the Indians who make up 8%. O stands for Others, which are the minorities—including Eurasians—that make up the remainder of the population. The CMIO system also states that a child must follow the father's race if they were not of one Asian and one Caucasian parent nucleus. This is in turn linked to the second language that you are made to take when you enter the education system as a child. My father is of north Indian parentage with British and Chinese blood ties along the way. My mother is of Indonesia Chinese parentage with Dutch blood ties along the way. I grew up in Chinese environment while I learnt Malay in school and had north Indian relatives over for birthday and New Year celebrations. The freckles on my face and hands whisper the Caucasian side of me. In my identity card, I am stated to be an Indian. I have a traditional Indian surname and yet, I do not speak a single word of my father's language. As lame as excuses go, I was never taught to be an Indian girl so how is it that I am Indian? Explaining to a perfect stranger why I have a north Indian surname and yet do not look one bit like it is a whole different ball game. The friends I have outside of Singapore all agree that I am considered a Eurasian or Hapa. Yet, I do not consider myself to be one simply because the state rules that unless you are a product of a single Asian and Caucasian parent, you cannot be Eurasian. Imagine all this information comes crashing into you at the ripe old age of 22. I discovered last year that I was different. That I was not really Eurasian neither was I Chinese or Indian. I was asked to do a short film of my identity and race made up a large part of that. I never wanted to assimilate myself into the Chinese culture but yet, I grew up on congee and chopsticks. I did not plan as a child to speak fluent Mandarin either even if I took Bahasa Melayu as a second language. What saddens me most, is that even within this so-called Eurasian community in Singapore, there is so much racism to deal with. I am dating a Eurasian guy currently, and I was not willing to share with him this Eurasian experience that I had discovered online. In part, I am ashamed to be considered a Eurasian because I am supposed to be Indian. One evening over the phone, I related a story that I read on the forum and it sparked off his interest in this Eurasian experience. He wanted a share of that experience. So, I threw caution to the wind and I told him the URL. Within minutes, he found my handle. What came after that shocked me. In his own words, I quote " Ann, you are not Eurasian. What are you doing in a Eurasian forum?" I am not Eurasian? What am I then? I am not Chinese, Indian, Dutch, British or even Indonesian. So, what am I? Sadly those words were in my heart and what replied was " Yea, I know but you do not have to be Eurasian to be apart of this." I realised then, that I was still getting used to the stares and the questions and maybe one day I will come up with that answer. One day, I will be able to tell someone what I am. About
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