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ARTICLES:
Eurasian Experience
On
Beauty By Erica Lee Schlaikjer August 2002 I grew up most of my life in Asia (China, Taiwan, and Hong Kong), daughter of a white American Foreign Service father and an aboriginal Taiwanese mother. Many of my international school friends were also mixed (Asian and White) since many of us came from similar backgrounds and experiences. I seem to have an immediate attraction to other multi-racial kids as soon as I see them. It's the way we look—almost like we could be related, which makes the encounter more personal. An immediate bond: the same olive skin, gently slanted eyes, full lips...a "look" that fits somewhere between bizarre and beautiful. "Exotic" is the phrase commonly used to describe this genetic intermingling of cultures—whether it be Black and White, White and Asian, Asian and Black, or any other combination. I embrace my "exoticism." I'm only 16—just like any other girl my age, I'll take any excuse to feel beautiful! I don't think I ever find myself wanting to feel "more White", or "more Asian." I'd like to think I get the best of both worlds. A science teacher of mine, confused when he saw my blonde, blue-eyed father drop me off at school, asked me: Is that your dad? (really meaning: You're not white!) Sensing his intrigue, I told him, "Yeah, I'm mixed. My dad's white, my mom's Asian." After clearing it up for him, he replied to me, "Oh good! Strengthens the gene pool," he said. "Not like us weak inbreeds! Inbreeding is bad!" Obviously, a joke (albeit, somewhat demented humor!) We chuckled. Once again, like so many other instances in my life, I felt different. But also empowered. But there are always insecurities. Why wasn't I blessed with the curves of my American aunts? How come my hair can't be as straight or as black as my mother's sisters? How did I inherit my dad's ugly, big feet? Why does my sister have smoother skin than I do? If only we could pick and choose, right? But I guess everyone feels that way...not just us mixed kids. So, I find myself wanting to be even more exotic, more international, more more interesting to look at. I don't mind if people have to guess where I'm from (Are you Latina? Filipina? What are you?!) Trying to live out a girlish fantasy, I want to be mysterious. It has a certain sexiness to it. But by all means, I definitely do not think I'm the best mix, or the most beautiful, or the most exotic. Most times, I feel awkward, out-of-place, not one thing or the other. Yes, there is a part of me that wishes I could look like those Indo-French VJs, or my beautiful cappucino-colored "Blasian" god sisters, or the tanned luk kreung girls of Thailand. But for now, I'll just have to settle for my big feet, long legs and small chest. My auburn-tinted hair can't compare to Tia Carrera's jet black mane, but I suppose it brings out the Danish in me, which I can't, and shouldn't, deny. My asymmetrical face with uneven eyes represents a clear dichotomy—one side Caucasian, one side Asian. But somewhere down the middle of myself is that beautiful, exotic girl with international, cosmopolitan appeal. I have a few more years to figure myself out, so maybe I'll grow into her someday. And if the fusion never actualizes, I'll just have to stick to my excuse and live with what I got: the best of both worlds. Or so I'd like to think. About
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