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ARTICLES:
Eurasian Experience
I'm
Not Your Brother By Eugene Whong October/November 2003 I can’t say I know exactly where to start and I think that my words here are going to be ridiculously unpopular, being that anyone with enough interest to regularly visit a Web site specifically for Eurasians probably believes in their own uniqueness to the point that they want to share with the world their experiences and solidify their rightful place in “The Eurasian Community”. So you go onto some online forum and talk about how “multicultural” you believe you are even though you are an English monolingual who has lived your entire life in the same old suburb of that large multicultural city in the USA. Or perhaps maybe it’s Hapa Mecca (AKA Honolulu). Never mind that everyone else on this forum is talking about their uniqueness too, and naturally you don’t care because you are only interested in your own uniqueness and multiculturalism. Granted, there are exceptions from the above, however, many of you online Eurasians do exactly that. You go online to spout your uniqueness to the world and surround yourself with people like yourself so you can all be unique multiculturals together. Yes, I’ve met you before, sitting in that group of white people at that college party showing off that you know hangul and pretending to know how to speak Korean when your Korean friend calls you on your cell phone. Never mind that you speak with a horrendous accent and you keep uttering the same honorific polite phrases again and again “aniyo, kwaenchansumnida” that you learned off of TV, and that anyone in a real friendship relationship would not use because they are too polite. Surprised that I know that? Remember, you are supposed to represent in these situations and you’ve just been schooled by someone who looks even less Korean than you do. Blasphemy! Or maybe it was you, who saw me with my group of Korean friends and saw that as your opportunity to cash in and gain acceptance. I mean, clearly, if this group of Koreans can accept a white looking Eurasian then naturally your ticket in would be to prove that you are more Asian than he is. How hard can that be, when you are visibly Eurasian, and your opponent looks white? So it begins, the “I’m more Asian than you are” contest. And what tactics do you employ? The same ones you all have been on the receiving end of all your life. First you pretend to have a genuine interest in your opponent. And you ask... “What’s your nationality?” Naturally you meant “what is your background?”, but your opponent speaks fluent English and answers the question using the actual definition of nationality. “American” he says. “Just American?” you reply. “Yea, last time I checked...” he says. “No, someone told me you were half,” you contest. “Yes, I am ethnically half-Korean and half-white.” You seem puzzled. “I thought you said you were American.” you say. “Well yes I am, being that I have American citizenship, I am an American.” “But you’re really half-American then, aren’t you?” “No, because citizenship and race are two different things.” Okay that’s it. He’s schooled you in English. Now it’s time to get dirty and show his Korean friends how much more Korean you are by talking about historical facts, obscure 80’s TV shows, K-pop, the Red-Devils, randomly breaking into song belting out Arirang at the top of your lungs for no reason, or trying to show everyone pictures of your Korean ex-girlfriend. And now that you’ve totally annoyed everyone, you’re fuming at the idea that he’s been invited to go to a noraebang with them next week (or you only think so because you didn’t exactly pick up what they said to him in Korean, even though you are doing your darndest to pretend you did. But how is this possible? How can someone who looks less Asian than you be accepted by Asians when you aren’t? It’s totally unfair! And more importantly, why did he not fight back and try to prove his Asian-ness and let you make a complete fool out of yourself alone? In a last desperate move you go for the sucker punch... “Are you sure you are half? You don’t even look it?” “Wow, really? I was TOTALLY UN-AWARE OF THAT!” Way to go genius, you’ve now made an enemy. Or maybe you are someone who believes that every other Eurasian is your friend. That you are part of a brotherhood or a sub community with shared experiences that only other Eurasians can comprehend. A group of people who can celebrate diversity together with. You see a Eurasian and instantly see a brother! As anyone who is Eurasian must have a similar upbringing and attitude towards those evil single raced people. Well I’m sorry, but I’m not your brother, and honestly I don’t care how unique you think you are and I am not interested in your life story and experiences or how your parents met. If you are a cool person who wants to get to know me without talking about Eurasian-ness in the first 5 seconds after we meet, then that’s cool, but.. “Hey, are you mixed? SO AM I!!!!!” is not the way to instant friendship with me. Which brings me to my final point. This idea that a “Eurasian community” already exists, or that it can be created. I am a very strongly opinionated person and let me tell you right now that I don’t even believe that there is such a thing as an “Asian-American community.” There is a Korean-American community without a doubt, there is also one or more “Chinese-American Communities” a “Filipino American Community” a “Vietnamese-American community” and etc. Asian-Americans who believe that there is an Asian-American community are usually whiny activists who blame all their sexual frustrations on the media pairing Asian females with White males. Either that or they had a cow about some T-Shirts showing questionable ethnic humor on them. However I believe that similar forms of discrimination and similar looks are hardly enough to form a community. Now if there isn’t any Asian-American community, how can there possibly be a Eurasian community? Sure, perhaps two Eurasians will have similar upbringings, have received similar discrimination from both whites and Asians. They may even have the same views and outlook on society. Great, you’ve found a friend. But that doesn’t mean that every Eurasian will be like that. One of the biggest misconception comes when Eurasians with an Asian mother try to embrace a Eurasian with an Asian father. These people have had such a drastically different upbringing that rarely ever will they feel they have anything in common other than perhaps looks. Next it will be the Chinese-Eurasian trying to forge a bond with the Korean-Eurasian. Well that doesn’t automatically work either unless the two are so removed from their roots that in reality they are just Americans who want to find someone who looks like them to befriend and exclude everyone else (see Asian-American Activists). So the truth of the matter is that I avoid Eurasians like the plague. I try to stay away from “Hapa parties” and even though in my college Asian-activist days (which are responsible for my anti-Asian-activist views.) I was chosen to represent the half-Asian community, I refused on the grounds that my experiences are vastly different from other Eurasians, cause, hell, I’m unique! I especially try to stay away from Eurasians who want to prove that they are more Asian than I am, though even though I myself used to participate in that kind of activity, it simply makes you look retarded. I don’t celebrate half-Asian celebs because they are not going to do anything for me other than take my money when I watch their computer generated likeness fight with other people’s computer generated likeness on the movie screen. I’m not going to root for Hines Ward or Mike Nakamura because I don’t like the Steelers or Twins. Yeah, maybe those guys are great, but I’m more concerned with My Orioles finishing somewhere above 4th place or my Redskins returning to their former glory somehow. The only similarity I have with any of these people is that I am an American (okay so Keanu is Canadian). About
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